Jessica’s Blog

Women Who Work #3: Becca Marco From Pop And Banter

Ask For Help, Not To Be Rescued

I’ve found myself in this position before. Determined not to be seen as weak, I went all in on a project without thinking it through, and found myself stuck, waiting to be rescued. Here’s what happened.

I took a look around our bedroom and declared that we needed a change. I thought about running my idea by my husband, but figured I’d get the “not right now” response, and it would be fun to surprise him anyway. My plan required moving all our bedroom furniture, which I felt that one way or another I could do on my own. I’m a strong, independent woman after all.

I surveyed the belongings and started to move all the furniture, piece by piece, like a very complicated puzzle. Until of course I got stuck. I pondered my predicament for a few moments and determined that yes, I was very much stuck, and needed help. My husband was happy to help, but did ask me yet again why I don’t ask for help in the first place.

He had a point. Asking for helping when you’ve already created the mess isn’t really asking for help. It’s asking to be rescued. I tend to ask to be rescued more then I ask for help, which is the opposite of what I’m trying to do. By not asking for help in tasks that are traditionally thought to be more masculine, like moving furniture, I’m trying to communicate that I am a strong, competent woman, who is able to handle all.the.things by myself.

Asking to be rescued is, one could argue, worse than asking for help in the first place. Being self-aware enough to know your limitations and know your strengths and weaknesses is a huge strength, and one that is expressed by asking for help. I realized I needed help to get comfortable asking for help, so to do this there are three key points I’m going to remember whenever I doubt the power of asking for help:

  • Asking for help means I am strong. Being able to ask for help is a sign of strength, not of weakness, as author Margie Warrell discussed in her book Brave. Asking for help requires you to be aware of your personal strengths and weaknesses, and have an understanding of the things you may need to push yourself to do vs. what you truly aren’t able to do. In my example, I could have moved some pieces of furniture on my own, though I knew deep down before I started I couldn’t move them all.
  • No one goes it alone. Have you ever been told that it takes a village? I truly believe that it does. There is no one person on this planet that does all that they do without any help. Not one person. So, you’re in good company when you ask for help.
  • When and where to ask for help is a personal choice (so don’t compare!). In the media today we are constantly shown examples of women seemingly thriving on their own, and it begs the question, how are they doing it? When you find yourself starting to compare and think less of yourself for needing your village, remember we are not shown the life behind the scenes of these women, and in almost all of those instances, they are getting help with some part of their life. When and where they are getting help though is dependent on how their life looks, and where they need it the most. Remembering that each relationship is unique and comparison isn’t an option is crucial to getting the help you need to be your most awesome self.

Hopefully by now you’re thinking that asking for help may not be such a bad thing. If you are, think about one way you can ask for help, and ask for that help today. Then, make a note of how you feel after asking for help. If it is anything like my experience, you’ll feel a little lighter and smile a little bigger.

 

becca_marco_popandbanter

Becca is currently a Director in sales at a technology company in Washington DC, Co-Founder of Pop and Banter and the co-host of the Pop and Banter podcast. As a Director in sales she is responsible for managing the relationship with top media and ad tech clients, and assisting them with their digital strategy and overall research needs. She started her career in media research in NYC over 11 years ago, and during that she has moved to the west coast and back, spent a summer in New Zealand on an avocado orchard, and became a wife and a step-mom to three boys (19, 14 and 13). The experience she gained through transitioning jobs and traveling the world has given her a unique opportunity to try various habits and ways of living to see what stuck and what things ultimately helped her move her life forward. This unique perspective is what she regularly shares on the podcast, which aims to empower women and give them tips on how to lead their best life. She loves this work as she is lifted up by helping those around, and is delighted by the opportunity to assist other working women and moms.

You can visit Pop and Banter on the following platforms:

Site: http://www.popandbanter.com
Twitter: @popandbanter
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pop-and-Banter/1416887831948092
Instagram: @popandbanter

Deliberative

(Video Courtesy of StrengthsFinder.com)

deliberative

THEME INSIGHTS:

I am (Being) ———-> A vigilant observer of potential risk

I will (Doing) ———-> Anticipate things that could go wrong

I Bring (Contribution) ———-> A thorough and conscientious approach

I need (Requirement) ———-> Time to listen and think before being expected to speak

I love (Value) —————> Restraint and caution in the face of risk

I Hate (Value) —————> A rush to judgement

Metaphor/Image ———-> An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure; a jury must deliberate before there is a verdict

Barrier Label ———-> Hesitant —– It’s the early bird that gets the worm.

 

THEME CONTRAST:

DELIBERATIVE: Like a brake, I tend to slow things down.

ACTIVATOR: Like an accelerator, I tend to speed things up.

——————————————————————————–

DELIBERATIVE: Socially cautious

WOO: Socially adventurous

 

Want to discover your Top Five strengths, then click HERE to take the assessment. If you or someone you know has DELIBERATIVE, then comment below!

Competition

(Video courtesy of StrengthsFinder.com)

competition

THEME INSIGHTS:

I am (Being) ———-> Aware of my competitors

I will (Doing) ———-> Strive to win

I Bring (Contribution) ———-> An aspiration to be the best

I need (Requirement) ———-> Peers for comparison and motivation

I love (Value) —————> A chance to go against the best

I Hate (Value) —————> Coming in second

Metaphor/Image ———-> No consolation prizes —— the gold medal is the only medal

Barrier Label ———-> Sore loser

 

THEME CONTRAST:

COMPETITION: When I watch others perform, I get better.

SIGNIFICANCE: When others watch me perform, I get better

——————————————————————————————

COMPETITION: The scoreboard measures my progress and validates victory

ANALYTICAL: Data quantify experience and validate theories.

 

Want to discover your Top Five strengths, then click HERE to take the assessment. If you or someone you know has COMPETITION, then comment below!

Context

context

THEME INSIGHTS:

I am (Being) ———-> Appreciative of my predecessors and prior events

I will (Doing) ———-> Remember Important history

I Bring (Contribution) ———-> Accurate memories and valuable memorabilia

I need (Requirement) ———-> Relevant background for discussions/decisions

I love (Value) —————> The retrospective

I Hate (Value) —————> When the past is forgotten

Metaphor/Image ———-> Rearview Mirros —- essential for safe driving

Barrier Label ———-> Stuck in the past

 

THEME CONTRAST:

CONTEXT: I naturally remember and revere what has been.

FUTURISTIC: I naturally anticipate and imagine what could or should be.

————————————————————————————————-

CONTEXT: I can proceed when I understand history

FOCUS: I can proceed when the goal is clear

 

Want to discover your Top Five strengths, then click HERE to take the assessment. If you or someone you know has CONTEXT, then comment below!

4 Books For The New Year!

I’m surfing the internet and the New Year chatter has begun.

And in 3 months, we wonder what happened to that euphoric feeling that a 24 hour time change brings.

For me, 2017 is about simplifying my goals into key “buckets” of my life. It’s taken some time to narrow them down, in fact the 10th goal is still not 100% articulated. After a short 35 trips around the sun, a few things have resonated with me throughout the new year’s appeal; the people in my world and the things that I do. Every goal always comes back to those two main areas and as I’ve (questionably) matured, the impact and influence of those people and actions carry more meaning and weight; both good and bad.

In order to maximize those goals, I’ve had to acknowledge two things:

  1. I don’t know everything.
  2. Keep learning.

My father always taught me to position myself as a student of people I would most like to become. He never said I had to be in a relationship with them. Took me a minute to catch on until he modeled it for me. He loved to READ! My father read books, newspapers, and saved clippings in a folder by subject so when those moments in life called for some wisdom from his mentors, he pulled them from his folders.

I remember his words clearly, “Readers are leaders and leaders are readers!”

And so I read because I knew God had called me to live life differently than most.

And I positioned these “guru’s” as mentors in my life through their words, books, blogs, podcasts, and articles.

Every time I finished a book, I would go back to my two core statements: I don’t know everything and keep learning/growing and I would read some more.

So grab a cup of coffee because, I’m sharing the 4 books that I am reading in 2017 so I can….

Keep growing, why?

Because I don’t know everything.

 

  1. Life Application Study Bible – The New Living Translation

Want a book that will racially change your life? Read the Bible. Even if you don’t understand it, your life, from the inside out, will change dramatically. If you can’t afford to buy one, then download the YouVersion.com for GREAT devotionals and Bible translations for FREE. Commit to reading 10 minutes a day and watch your life take an adventure!

life-application-bible

(Picture courtesy of Amazon.com)

 

2. Fire Your Boss”, by Stephen M. Pollan & Mark Levine

I love the title because it captures your attention and then the book throws you a twist. If you have a boss or work with people over you who “call the shots” in some way of your career and job, then this book is for you!

fire-your-boss

(Picture courtesy of Amazon.com)

3. “The Richest Man Who Ever Lived”, by Steven K. Scott

Life and goal planning can be a bit tedious for me with it’s whimsical claims and less practical approaches. Add on the fact that most goals leave ZERO room for your faith and wisdom and I’m checked out. This books does both because it breaks down the wisdom of the richest man who ever lived and how he achieved it.

richest-man-who-ever-lived

(Picture courtesy of Amazon.com)

4. “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”, by John Maxwell

Hands-down the BEST book on if you are leading people in any capacity! It’s practical, applicable, and super challenging. Be prepared for your leadership paradigm to shift or possibly be destroyed. PS – This is a yearly book read!

21-irrefutable-laws

(Picture courtesy of Amazon.com)

What about you? How will you position yourself as a student of learning for 2017 or what books will you read? I’m always looking for new books to read that others have been challenged or changed by, so sound off on the comments below.

Top Five: 5 Ways To Stay Healthy This Holiday Season By Farah El-Hadidy

The holiday season is finally here…. I find the time from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day to be the hardest month to stick to healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle. Truthfully, it all begins with Halloween and all the leftover candy. There is constant temptation from desserts, sweet treats, unhealthy fats, and just way too much food in general.
Today I want to share 5 tips that have helped me stay on track year after year. So when it’s time to welcome 2017, you will have maintained your weight, or you might have even shed some!

1. Stay hydrated. When you go to a party, and there will be many, be sure you alternate high calorie drinks like alcohol, eggnog, cocktails or hot chocolate, with water, infused water or sparkling water. These holiday drinks can have a lot of hidden calories and sugar, so watch out! Enjoy a few and be sure to balance it out with water. This will also alleviate hangover symptoms, you will be grateful the next morning!

2. Eat several small meals. During the holiday season we tend to skip meals and indulge in one big holiday meal at a party or family dinner. This year let’s do things a little differently… instead of starving yourself all day, eat some healthy snacks throughout the day, and most importantly be sure to have a healthy balanced breakfast. This will help you stay on track and not overeat. These changes although small, will help stabilize your blood sugar levels and keep you energized… no need to spend the entire day being HAngry from not eating for hours, or be the first to pass out from overeating!

3. Indulge mindfully. Enjoying food and sweet treats is very much part of enjoying the holidays. Instead of looking at it as an all or nothing, we want to shift from this extreme mentality that leaves us feeling emotionally deprived and ready to go overeat until January. Instead, let’s practice mindful indulgence, so when you decide to eat a treat: taste it, savor it, chew slowly and have one portion. Learning to indulge mindfully is a powerful practice that will ensure satisfaction and long term success

4. Stay active. This season is busy, busy, busy with lots of gift shopping and grocery shopping on the list… so why not use the busy shopping season and burn off some calories? If you are heading to the mall to buy some Christmas gifts or to the grocery store, park a little further, or take your time and do some window shopping. Instead of driving to mail your gifts, walk to the post office. Remember, Every step counts. Personally, I love using a pedometer on my smart phone to see how much progress I’ve made… it all adds up, plus it motivates me to log in more steps!

5. Schedule time to relax. We spend so much of our time taking care of our loved ones that we often forget to take care of ourselves. Although the holidays are nourishing in their own way, they can be overwhelming and stressful. Many of us, me included, tend to indulge in food when we are stressed. So this year, schedule some time just for YOU. Take a relaxing bath, meditate, read your favorite book, get your nails done, or simply go for a walk. Do whatever helps you calm down and de-stress. Make this a priority, you are worth it!

Above all, enjoy the holidays and remember they are not only about food, but most importantly they are about spending quality time with family and friends. This can be nourishing in itself. Have fun and enjoy that occasional sweet treat.

For years I lost myself in the holidays and somehow arrived in January bloated, unhappy and feeling so off track…do you feel that way too? Let’s do things a little different this year and welcome 2017 feeling GREAT, while not skipping that slice of pumpkin pie. Sustainable health is not about restriction; it’s about balance. With implementing a few tips and tricks for this holiday season, you’ll enjoy yourself while feeling great.

I know how hard it can be, that is why I put together a Holiday Survival Guide so I can share my best tips for managing stress, enjoying your favorite holiday treats without overindulging, and learning how to stay in touch with your body during this often hectic time. You’ll also find my 4-Day Post-Holiday Healthy Reset Plan with recipes, shopping list and suggested meals. Get your copy here >>> Holiday Survival Guide

Happy Holidays!

 

profile

I’m Farah El-Hadidy. I specialize in helping busy women and men put health back on top of the priority list through practical tips and strategies that deliver REAL results.

I received my Health Coaching training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City, NY in 2012. I practice in Boston, MA where I support clients both locally and globally via phone or internet. I also offer workshops and corporate workshops.

My background of 10 years in the corporate world, government contracting industry, and now as a busy mom to a busy two year old, and Health Coach running my own private practice… I know first-hand the pressures and challenges of busy, stressed out women and men who are juggling a number of things at the same time.

You can say “HELLO” to Farah at the following platforms: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithinyourreach/
Facebook personal: https://www.facebook.com/farah.elhadidy
Facebook business: https://www.facebook.com/wellnesswithinurreach/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/farahelhadidy/
Blog: https://wellnesswithinyourreach.com